Proverbs 31:12

She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. (AMPC)


Proverbs 31:12

She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life. (NKJV)

While I was studying up on this verse to find practical applications of it I discovered that the word does used in this verse actually has a deeper meaning than simply doing. It means to deal bountifully with. This is to be liberal in bestowing gifts and generous. And now onto the word good. The deeper definition found in Strong’s Dictionary of this gives us a wealth of practical ways we can be good to our husbands.


Here we go – beautiful, best, better, bountiful, cheerful, at ease, fair, be in favour, fine, glad, good, good deed, goodness, graciously, joyful, kindly, kindness, like the best, loving, merry, most, pleasant, pleases, pleasure, precious, prosperity, ready, sweet, wealth, welfare, be well favoured.


There are thirty-one acts in this definition. My challenge to you is to take one definition each day and apply it your life in relation to your husband and family. If we take beautiful as a challenge we could apply it to our outward looks. I would take great care on that day when I got dressed. I would pick an outfit I know my husband likes, put on some perfume, wear pretty shoes instead of boring, black, practical ones. If you have to wear a uniform to work try out a different hairstyle with a pretty pin, wear some sexy underwear and make sure your husband knows and take a little more care with your makeup. On that day take extra care to be attractive to your husband and in subtle ways let him know.


Joyful is one that could be quite challenging. Check everything that comes out of your mouth on that day and only say positive things. Avoid complaining and being critical and rather say nothing if what you would normally have said would have been negative.


Ready is a great challenge. Try to be home before your husband and have something ready for him when he gets home. Practically it may not be dinner but have all the children’s toys packed away and the kettle on for a cup of coffee together on the sofa before starting the evening routine. Another idea is to put out his pajamas and turn down the bed and put a little chocolate on his pillow.


After one month start again from the beginning and try to come up with something different each month. It will very quickly become a part of who you are.


The Amplified Version has two extra things that a virtuous woman does: comforts and encourages. The word comfort is rather an interesting one. It comes from Latin confortāre which means to strengthen much. The meaning has developed over time to include the following incredible concepts:

  • source of alleviation or relief;
  • to soothe, console, or reassure; bring cheer to:
  • to make physically comfortable;
  • to aid; support or encourage;
  • relief in affliction; consolation; solace:
  • a feeling of relief or consolation;
  • a person or thing that gives consolation;
  • a cause or matter of relief or satisfaction and
  • a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety.


Going back to the original Latin meaning of strengthen much it certainly goes against our view that men are strong and women are weak. Our comfort, consolation, aid and support all go towards strengthening our husbands. We, as the weaker sex, actually contribute to men’s strength. That is such a beautiful concept.


Almost all of the definitions above deal with the emotions. Many men, due to their upbringing and odd stereotypes have this view that emotions are bad and to be avoided at all costs. We as the more emotional sex are called to minister to our husband’s emotions. For those with closed husbands who run a mile at the sight of a tear your work is cut out for you but as we saw in verse eleven we are to be our husband’s safe place. Breaking through that outside shell is our calling. A man who has locked all his emotions deep inside of him is not a comforted man, he is one who lives with silent affliction. A wise wife will pray, seek God’s face and trust Him to reveal a strategy that breaks through that hard, protective shell. Every marriage is unique so no one strategy will work for everyone. Know that if you ask God for a plan He will give you one that works. If you really are feeling clueless confide in some wise women who can give you Godly counsel and can pray with you. I pray once a week with a good friend of mine and those prayer sessions are amazing. I feel so encouraged and empowered after each session. There is just something so powerful about praying together with someone.